you'll never see the courage I know...

never tell

never tell

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

I am the Rain King (When I think of heaven, Deliver me in a black-winged bird)

When I think of heaven
Deliver me in a black-winged bird
I think of flying down into a sea of pens and feathers
And all other instruments of faith and sex and God
In the belly of a black-winged bird.
Don't try to feed me'Cause I've been here before
And I deserve a little more
I belong in the service of the Queen
I belong anywhere but in between
She's been crying and I've been thinking
And I am the Rain King
And I said Mummah, Mummah, Mummah, why am I so alone
I can't go outside
I'm scared I might not make it home
I'm alive, I'm alive
But I'm sinking in
If there's anyone at home at your place, darling
Why don't you invite me in?
Don't try to bleed me 'Cause I've been there before
And I deserve a little more
I belong in the service of the Queen
I belong anywhere but in between
She's been lying and I've been sinking
And I am the Rain King
Hey, I only want the same as anyone
Henderson is waiting for the sun
Oh, it seems night endlessly begins and ends
After all the dreaming I come home again
When I think of heaven
Deliver me in a black-winged birdI think of dying
Lay me down in a field of flame and heather
Render up my body into the burning heart of God
In the belly of a black-winged bird
Don't try to bleed me'Cause I've been here before
And I deserve a little more
I belong in the service of the queen
I belong anywhere but in between
She's been dying and I've been drinkingAnd I am the Rain King
I said that I am the Rain King
Well I said that I I I I I
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Well I am the Rain King.... Yeah!

what I love about real musicians is that they can improvise. When I was younger, it would throw me off if an artist changed the words in the live version. I appreciate that now, because it's more expressive and sincere to the artists expression. That's music, man.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

I went to the fair & even forgot what time it was!

I went to the Morrissey concert the night before and was up really late, well up in the weirdest early morning hours and it was all a blur. I had to "recover" from what I went thru the prior night. I knew Bernadette and I had made plans to go to the to the Harbour for the boat light parade the following night on Saturday. I was so tired from only getting a few hrs of sleep, so much so that I was delirious! But Bernie called me and off we went. It was funny! I was hung over (not from drinking, just hung over) & I was all giggles for no reason!

I grabbed all my The Smiths Cd's (because my ONLY way OUT is to go SO FAR IN) and a sweater, Peacoat, scarf and a bottled water. Thank all the gods, for it was FREEZING! By the Sea of course! I met Bernadette at a local record store called . We went in for some Adam Lambert, Susan Boyle, anything Morrissey I may have forgotten, and looking at used cheap crap before we realised we better get going before we miss all the action!

We both didn't eat anything as of 6pm, so off to din din, after high-fiving each other like a couple of geeks when we both agreed on EL POLLO LOCO! (my fav. place). Nachos here I come!

We both were starving and ate like we were eating our "last supper" as on lookers we're horrified. OH WELL. I asked the owners if they had any "I love El Pollo Loco" bumper stickers, but no good! My friend was asking for a hat, lol, I even wouldn't wear that shit! They prolly thought we were drunk! Anyways, out of there...

I was following dette at some point, oh yeah, that was after the record store, then to a gas station that was too bright and blaring music to me. Ekk! Put gas in the tank and off we went down a dark road to the harbour, she following me this time. We got there and it was PACKED!!

We searched for parking as I almost crashed a few times because I was mesmerized by all the boats with X-mas lights & I didn't know there was going to be a fair there either! Dette didn't tell me! I was excited like a little kid. I like these sort of things. I'm a kid at heart!

She finally found a parking spot & then I. She found me some how & popped out of nowhere! We walked up & I was excited about the slip and slide, but then I saw the cotton candy and had bernadette buy me a mulit-coloured one (it was gross, stick w/the blue or pink).

After that, I saw the yellow rubber duckies and it was all over with. I ran over there and poor bernie had to deal w/me standing around this one booth for like 45 minutes! You don't know how much I like to people watch and I just love reptiles!
One of the lighted boats!
Cotton Candy!

I just came back from the boat light parade, didn't know there was going to be a FAIR!
Girls just wanna have fun!

Walkin up 2 the man that worked there, I asked him how many winning rubber duckies there were,he said only 5!

Never played this B4 EVER. My 1rst try, I get the "right #6" rubber duckie! I was happy, the man was mad!

fuck yeah, my first try EVER! I never win anything!
my baby's first good look of mommy
me and my baby

The man that worked there was in disbeilef, almost didn't want to give me me prize! Wth? Guess what I won?

He didn't want to give me my turtle!? It was weird. But in the end we were friends! So happy I have a new pet!

I won a little turtle!!! love him already! He's so cute & tiny! has personality! Guess what I named him?

Fireworks, we didn't know were gonna happen! hurrah!

Bernadette and I watching the fireworks
It snowed on us!! What fun!
wipe my nose, get my new boots on... After all was said and done, I walked away w/my baby turtle and bernadette and I just walked around the water's edge. I had so much fun that night and it was all but maybe 3 hours? and all totally spontaneous! Thanks Bernadette for inviting me!

I should really be the Octopus. Doing 8 things at once all the time!
Finally, I have Green hair! Yippee!
Me and Bernie played half a game of checkers, before my ADD had us running to the next thing!;p

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Saturday, December 26, 2009

The Winter Wonderland I found myself in. So what if I pretended I was lost in a forrest!

The Winter Wonderland I found myself in. So what if I pretended I was lost in a forrest!

For G'ma
I'm getting him next year!
I have some of these dudes already (mine are more handsome tho!)
Vintage loveliness
Kinda creepy, but not.
She's coming w/me next year too!
Pretty damn' niffty tree!
I'm in love
Making out w/Santa baby!
Next year you better get me those 4 things I asked for, it really isn't much!
Santa wanted me to sit on his lap a little bit longer!

watching my friend bernadette adorn the trees -12/07/09

On my way home from work
The fountain they fill up w/ snow (soap) ever year! It was a really windy day & it kept blowing about! It was really fun.

My Morrissey bumper stickers approves!
Train Tracks by the Sea
A man and his dog!

After a full day's work w/ this crazy "Howard Hughes" guy, sped over & bought my $100.00 Morrissey ticket-Bernadette invited me to help adorn her 3 Christmas trees.(I was so tired by then, I mostly watched, but helped hooked the ornaments!) ;p

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Thursday, December 24, 2009

Went to my Dear friend's house today. Hellen was 1 of the 1rst people I met here in Ventura. She has a sweet soul.

We had fun giggling like little girls...I'm so glad I met Hellen. When I first met her she was standing on the sidewalk in downtown Ventura. She made quite an impression on me. She looked like an old-time movie star. She was also wearing my grandma and I's favourite colours, Purple (G'ma) and Green (me). The green trench coat was sea foam green and she had long classy hair w/ old vintage hair pins. Believe it or not, we have a lot in commom. We have old souls and we connect, I have always been drawn to the vintage people. :P
I asked Hellen to pose w/ the photograph of her Mother & Father pressed against her heart! Beautiful! Hellen took only 1 step today!!! haha LOL {inside joke with us} When I was worried I forgot about the brown sugar I needed & the stores were closed, she slipped this in my purse when I checked on the Dog. Dont'cha love Grandma types? Always got your back! ;p Her Granddaugter's piglet...when she was leaving she left it there for Hellen so she wouldn't be lonely! Awwwe *LOVE* Opening the gifts I got her... She's so child-like right here. I love it! *Hellen's Vintage Radio* Our Feet Our Hands we're talking about how January was the worst month/year for us...We have a lot in common sure was- The year from HELL. Her daughter who died bday's was on the 13th, my G'ma died on the 5th {so did I}

ohh X-mas Cheer and dogs with fleas! It's so nice!


Are you sure you don't over cook your pasta Hellen? Cuss like a drunken Sailor.

Is it raining outside in the 100 acre wood?

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