you'll never see the courage I know...

never tell

never tell

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

12/09 - 3rd OAKLAND SHOW






12/09-
Next morning up and going. I felt sorrow, like a 15 year old relationship had come to an end. Tori was more to me than just 'some woman up there on stage playing music' I think you all know what I'm talking about. So, I had decided that this was the last Tori tour I would do & that something had just died. It's not there anymore. I took a few pictures to document this moment & it was perfect 'cause Jim had a 'to venus & back' poster on the wall, sitting there lonely w/ nothing around it in the extra bedroom I was staying in. I'm glad I took these photos, but when I look @ them I get sad. I think Lisa left around noon to go visit her G'ma. So it was just me & Jim. On the way to the venue he turned me on to some new cd's/artists. I was really digging this music & the vibe it gave out. Thanks Jim honey, you can burn me that cd anytime you'd like. ;o). Me & Jim went to this vegetarian resturant & waited for Ursula, Joe, Lisa (bootleg lisa), Shelia and Carl to join us. We had fun talkin, taking pictures & I really was obsessed w/ their beautiful bathroom. Afterwards I ran into more friends. Then me & Joe snuck off to taco bell, (sorry Jim), I only picked @ my food @ the resturant. I ran into Drew & Kayla again. Fancy seeing you here. Haha. We were having fun until a roach tried crawling into Kayla's purse! Haha. We all took off & I didn't have a tix, I asked around. This time it was kinda taking longer. I asked this girl like twice & then after a while I turned around & there she was again. I was about to ask her again & I caught myself & said 'wait, I already asked you like 3 times haven't I?' She then came up to my face pretty close (haha) and said 'you wanna see a show?' So, I said 'yeah sure'. I think I asked her how much & she said 'nothing'. So we go in together. I already knew it was a balcony seat, but it was free, she was adorable & hell I had a plan. I tried sneaking in downstairs & the nazi's were like 'excuse me' & I kept walking & the bitch followed me. And the asshole from the night before. I told him to fuck off & get a life. And when he was holding the door open, I gave an ugly dreadful look at his hands to make him feel bad that he's getting old. I know I'm evil. I can be when pushed. So I go back upstairs, back to that girl. Her name is Rebecca by the way. So, I'm sitting there & I get a text from Lisa telling me to go downstairs & meet her at the door during 'Pro. Widow'. Fucking awesome. So I tell the poor girl goodbye again & actually tried & get her to come down w/ me. No go. So, I am so happy I went when I did. Down the stairs I go, just walking. Quiet lobby. No one around. Except for me... and let's just say me & my fav. girl Isabel/tori had a connection. It was magical. I still think about it today & it is eerie. So, anyhow, rush over to Lisa & we walk in. Sat like 5th row I guess! They were good seats to me. Sat in front of Lisa & Nina. This is when I met my new friend Max. The guy seating right next to me. My seat mate. :o) I asked him where he was from & he said Silverlake! I said 'oh really, I use to live in Los Feliz for years' (that's right next door). We got on really fast & well. We exchanged numbers and I kept running into him every show after. Hi Max! Ok, so this show was the best out of the 3 Oakland shows because she did a lot of my requests. I don't ask her straight foward (ok, maybe 'Parasol' I did) but in letter form, but not how you're thinking. And she did them in one night, so I was happy.
The show- 3rd Oakland show & the best out of the 3. First time for me seeing Clyde, so this night marks the point where I've seen all 5 dolls. The same 'ole songs & by now I am getting tired of hearing them over & over again. I was sitting around friends & had a pretty good seat. Then she started w/ all the songs I requested, which were: 'A sorta fairytale', 'The power of orange knickers' (one of my very most fav. songs I've never seen Tori do-I missed The Beekeeper tour (except for The Greek show), so I was playing catch up), 'Siren' and 'The Beekeeper' (for my G'pa and for me) so that was 4 songs in one night! Fucking hot! I was so pleased. She already did my 'CALS' the first Oakland show & my 'Beulah Land' my first show in Oregon. Now my 'Parasol' awaits me. It was really nice to hear one of my very fav. ever out of Tori's catolog of songs: 'Baker Baker'. This song will always take me back to the time, the moment I first heard this delicate, yet powerful song. Sheeeew, did she ever change my life. 'I know you're late for your next parade, you CAME to MAKE SURE that I'm not RUNNING'... and 'maybe not this time'... and the few piano notes right after that line, my god was I crying. Thank you tori for writing such a song/this and 'Pretty Good year' are sibblings, I know they are, that or soulmates. 'Rattlesnakes', 'Josephine' and 'Bliss' were really lovely to hear. Pretty damn, good show, but she was really tired and WAS IT SHOWING! Hope this DVD is worth all the time she spent making it, promoting it, perfecting it and allowing it to take up all her time and energy. Ooh and watching it in Arizona while we were all outside in the rain waiting for her. Whateves! Before the show I got to spend some time w/ my babies Kate & Chris. Love them to death. We must go to the beach again and get a new kite to fly! That other one was a cheap piece of gas station shit. Haha. I still have my Seahorse & turtle mood rings. I think of you everytime I wear them. :o) so after the show I hug all my friends goodbye! Sniff sniff. So don't remember much what we did after this. Were gonna eat @ a resturant w/ bunch of people but we all ended up back @ that fucking taco bell, lord help us! So...oh yeah, haha-we went thru the drive-thru & then parked next to lisa & shelia when this guy comes up & starts soluting us and calling himself commander. He did some gnarly push-ups as he counted off. Got some change from us, soluted us, then off he went. Haha. Wow. Jim, lisa & I left to go back to Jim's house. Lastnight there & I will miss his dad, mom, dog and house. Can I have your dog jim? Peeeaazzz? Come on!

12/08 - 2nd OAKLAND SHOW





12/08-
Next day we get up get ready & hop in the car. Lisa's hair was prefect on this day. Haha. And such a lovely dress. She looked beautiful. We stopped by the store to get some cash. I got some bottled water & baby food, ONLY bananna, apricot, & hawaiian delight I like, so I don't wanna hear it! So we're back in that corner cafe sipping on a glass of hot tea. Soooo good! All the sudden I see this girl swing open the door and rush over to me & I'm thinkin' 'what's this crazy girl doin?' Then she gets closer and yells 'Raven'! It was Theresa! Most of you will know her as 'the girl w/ the pink mohawk'. I was sooo happy to see her. I haven't seen her since Scarlet's Walk. So it was funny, here the 3 girls that did the Scarlet tour together again, me, lisa & theresa only person missing was Katey and she joined the tour later @ the end. It was beyond words.
Chasidy, Jim's friend who got him into tori years ago was there too. She's so cute. Ursula, Joe, lisa & shelia showed up. Off to get tix. Spent more time w/ Drew, Kayla & Aidan. Their so funny! Give me a laugh when I need one!
The show- yea! We got Pip again! Good. As everyone knows that the fuckers that worked there were camera nazi's, & seat nazi, drink nazi's, everything-wouldn't let me bring my water in, got me out of my seat 'cause of my camera (no big deal, I just got up, went pee, came back & sat in a better seat-thanks dude, you did me a favor cock sucker). I should have scratched his white SUV that I watched him get into after the show. I got some good shots this night. I have to read more about my camera, there's so much stuff this little creature does! I have a feeling I'll find a better setting for concert photograpy. Oh well, it is what it is.
The show-
2nd night & taping for the Dvd. Same 6 Pip songs were done that I already seen.

Again, 'Big wheel', 'Crucify', & 'Cornflake girl'. My fav. were in there-'Space dog', Putting the damage on' & 'Cloud on my tongue'. Good to see Under the pink & Pele come out. The rest of the show I already seen. Too many times. Yawn. I was feeling really down & wondering what the hell was going on. Everybody was ranting about how great this tour was & how good the shows were and I just wasn't seeing it. I was cold & tired & just wanted to go home (jim's home). So. Jim, Lisa & I left to go back to his place & we went to bed. Me & Lisa were too tired to talk. I laid there & thought How things are different. I thought about how old Tori was getting. I thought about how old I was getting. I thought how I missed Joel, I thought about how I missed The Dent. All the things that made this little tori world of mine a happy little place. The mystery is gone. I thought about how crappy the merch was & how I haven't bought anything from the last 2 tours. How newbies think they can come in & tell the OG's what to do-funny! I refuse being bossy, demanding, agressive, a ass kisser or putting myself out there as a tix whore that would do anything to get front row, as I witnessed a few doing just that in Oakland. I don't need to be all up in someone's face & rubbing up on them, nor spending 2 hours around the corner alone w/ Smitty. Disgusting. It's sad to see friends just change into something not so pleasant right before your eyes. But I say to myself again & again 'seems as if we're circling for VERY different reasons'. I watched things go down in Oakland that turned me off. That shit wasn't cool. I was thinking about all these things & more...till finally I fell to sleep. Goodbye tori world...

12/07 -LEAVING SEATTLE & FIRST OAKLAND SHOW





12/07-
When my friend woke me up, I didn't even know where I was at. I had asked her to wake me up @ a certain time & she didn't, she woke me up like 15 minutes before Josh came to get us, so yeah I was pissed naturally. So we didn't have time to get coffee or eat, but I can't eat that early, I feel sick to my stomach. So off we go, she doesn't say one word to me as if SHE'S mad @ me! Yeah that makes sence? But she keeps telling her boyfriend to tell me to hurry up. We get to the airport & go our seperate ways. I had to wait, but I ate at this yummy breakfast place, got lotion @ the gift shop & got money out of an ATM for tickets (thinking ahead, even @ 7am) I sit & waited, seemed not that long before boarding. The weirdest thing, like I was going to be late. As always time snuck up on me, that cocki bastard! And I was almost running late, good thing there was this little guy w/ a cart asked if I needed a ride! Right in front of me! Perfect timing! So, I hopp on w/ my heavy bag & good thing because he drove to the very very very end of the airport! And me & the guy that hopped on after me were laughing because he was speeding & honking that little horn! We laughed again when we got to the end & looked @ each other & saying at the same time 'I would have had to walk this far? My god, good thing I took you'. I tipped him $2.00, but would have tipped him more if I had a five on me. I couldn't fummble thru my wallet, my plane was boarding. We blew each other kisses and I flew off. The plane ride was nice. Got into Oakland 25 minutes early, but since we were early there was another plane parked where we needed to be. Oh yeah I forgot to mention, they marked my luggage 'late'. She said there was no guarantee that my bags would be on the same plane as me, that I might have to wait for the next plane to come in w/ my bags! They were there! Thank all the gods. So, I asked charlie, this cute little old man behind the information desk where I'd catch the Bart. So I go stand out there & Jim calls me wondering where I'm at. So I get on this aipport bus to catch the Bart, there's these 2 wonderful people Kathy & Ron to which I would like to call my tour guides, the most funnest chaporons ever! They came along w/ me the intire way, showed me where to go, upstairs, downstairs, how to buy a Bart ticket. We got on the Bart together & talked about traveling & I told them about Tori tours & my friends. They thought it was so interesting! They were so helpful & friendly. I told them that I should take a picute of them as part of my journey. They just stood together & smiled. One of my fav. memories! With a wave and 'have fun' they were gone. I went upstairs to ground level and there I was! Across the street and about a block from The Paramount. So easy & all this w/ my suitcase and bag. Excellent! I walk up there, there's not a soul around. Except like a guy or two walking around. So I leave my bags there & went across the street to take pictures of the marquee. Then I go back & walk around the corner w/ my bags & guess who I see in that little parking lot on the corner? Of all people Ursula & Joe! Haha. So after awhile I go up to them & once again end up putting my bags in her car again. Then the 3 of us went to go find a place to eat, we got in the car & drove to Berkley. THIS WAS ONE OF MY FAV. TIMES ON TOUR & I WILL NEVER FORGET IT! We got out & walked around all over, looking @ the venders and shops and amebia. We found a pizza place & me not liking Italian food that much I wasn't that excited, but one of my New Year's resolution was/is to try new things or stuff I hardly eat. I loved this pizza, it was the best pizza I had tasted. I got tomato & basel add pineapple. We ate as the red hot chili peppers pumped out of the speakers. We went into this thrift shop & I just had to take a picture of the wigs 'cause it reminded me of ADP. Haha. Tori should have came out w/ a mullet wig. Haha.. We had so much fun. I bought 4 bumper stickers and we took a lot of photos. It was a beautiful day! We were trying to guess the setlist for the night on our drive back to The Paramount. We knew it was going to be generic 'cause of the DVD's. Oooh what fun! We get back and mingle. I see more friends and huggles were in order. I ran into some East Coast friends and we chatted. Some of these friends I haven't see for 4 years! We had a lot of catching up to do, but guess their minds were fixed on something else. Oh Well. Oh & it's pretty sad when you're so drunk that you can't even remember if you met someone before or twice. My god. Lame. So my Sammy J finally joins the tour here & we hug. Some time during this Lisa shows up w/ her bags, her flight delayed and she got there after me even tho. her flight was 3 hours before mine. I also text her while I was on the plane to let her know there were no Oakland meetngreets. So that early 7am flight was for nothing. But we were @ the Seattle meetngreet, so I don't know why she wanted to make it for that meetngreet? I don't know. But she put her bags in Jim's car and off we all went into a nice new resturant/cafe they had next to The Paramount. These people were smart because there was nothing else around for miles. They made a lot of money off me, my friends and all the other people who were there to see Tori for those 3 days! My other friend Joe that lived in LA, now lives in Berkley called me and let me know he was here! Hurrah! So he joined us at the cafe. And I found my beloved Drew & Kayla w/ baby. :o) It is always good to see them & catch up on things. Even tho. we text, it's not the same as seeing them in person. Always looking so goooood. Can't wait to meet your son, Aidan Valentino Ryan! I know he's going to be amazing! YOUR SON drew! How does that sound? Awesomely beautiful! - can't believe it! Sweet Kayla looks so beautiful all the time, but more so now...you're gonna be a great mommy! That baby's lucky! Love you guys! I ran into Danny (you know tall Danny) haha. In the bathroom line it is always good to see him. & Glo. I'm not quite sure why she is so quiet this tour, she seemed tired or sad. She really didn't talk to anybody. Which reminds me, I've noticed a lot of my friends missing this tour. Some were busy & others said that they just wern't feeling tori as much anymore. I feel the same way. I will ALWAYS love tori, but lately I am missing the old tori & how things use to be. I miss the mystery, the excitment everyone had around her, things were special, eclectic. No wigs, no mainstream, no self promoting 24/7. I missed Danny Q., Christopher (what ever happened to him. I been trying to get a hold of him, but no one knows where he went to), missed Jim F., my girl Chrissie (love you), Dorena, Rasta, Mazzy (hiiiiii!), my babe Gary, Julia, little Kelly, Mark from Sanfran, Nick, even someone I didn't want to see Tito, and a lot of others- can't forget Schlyce and Sean who really didn't feel like going. It's kinda sad. But I totally understand. Believe me, I do. I was really tired of all the tour drama & the idiots that show up every show & call themselves 'tori fans' when they act totally oppisate of what tori believes in, what she preeches & sings. I am & always will be shell-shocked that these are tori people. These 2 faces idiots that fester & linger @ her shows. I remember the day when I first noticed this years & years ago. I sat back & watched, I couldn't believe my eyes, how these people acted, I remember looking down @ my ticket to make sure it was infact a Tori Amos concert I was at. This made me very sad. I pictured a whole intirely different scene of like-minded peeps. Boy was I disillusioned. This will be my question of the Century. Anyhow, so I was just missing seeing these faces, but I understand. I did get to see Jess's cute face. One of my favourite hookers of the whole bunch! We did spent some time, but not nearly enough. That's alright-we have our hiking/camping dates to look foward to! :o)
Before the show we all sat on the stairs by the bar downstairs. The 2 joe's, ursula, jim and running down the stairs, Kate & Chris! My homegirls. Haha. So glad to see my babers! Kate being one of my best friends & all. Me & Joe sat together that night, the other Joe in the row behind us. Front center Balcony (yes, I know but we had plans, think we didn't?) So it was our night to cut loose and dance and do what ever we wanted since we had balcony and just didn't care. I'll tell you ironiclly this was one of the funnest shows for me, because we could see tori pretty well & everyone (spy) & take In the beautiful architect of the building. Pretty good sound from there believe it or not. We danced like a couple of loons, while the other Joe thought we were crazy (just kiddin'). We later just danced our way downstairs and walked to the side and kneeled by a familiar face. OMG! It was my friend Mike from the San Fernando Valley! Small world. Small Tori world! Lol. The one I met breifly in a parrking lot @ Ralphs. my friend & I parked next to a white SUV w/ the license plate reading 'Tori Amos', my friend's 'Datura'. OMG, how funny is that? We waited for the people to come out, you know how it is. So, this guy comes out w/ his friend. We talked & laughed, showed him our plates. We been friends ever since! We only email/text since then. And there he was sitting in that seat where I so happened to stop. He was all like 'omg raven'! Haha. Infact he was holding the license plate that night, haha, don't ask me why! It was so cool. Then me & joe got pretty close to the stage. I got some pretty good photos. After the show I spent some time w/ lisa (bootleg lisa, I call her :o) ), Shelia and Jaime. Can't remember much after that. Oh yeah the set list-I got to see Santa for the first time. Santa's cool with me. I love 'Body & Soul' and 'She's your cocaine', 'Secret Spell' is a very lovely song live. You've got to do a 180.! That 'Bring your Dog' song, really don't like. But I do like the part where she says 'and ain't that a good thing' or something. Nice. This song reminds me of a 80's band playing at your local bar.
Who doesn't like 'Swirl', rock out! 'Big Wheel', 'Crucify' and 'Cornflake Girl' once again! I think I fell asleep. Kidding. Well, here she does one of my requested songs, 'Caught a lite Sneeze'! If this was the only song on the setlist everynight & she played it 15x's over and again, I would be in cream land. I'd never get sick of it! EVER! This is my #1 fav. song by Ms. Amos! The 'woman in the mirror' improv was nice & to hear tori talking again. Loved the message behind her words. I love Tori's Mother, when ever I hug her, it feels like home. A warmth I wish I had in a Mother. Mary sure has a strong life fource. So does her Father. Tori got that. 'Winter' is a fav. Never get sick of it. Cooling was nice 'cause it was the first time I heard it in a long while. So there were a few gems in there. I was pretty distracted these 3 days. By people, things happening around me & a lot on my mind. After the show we most likely ate @ taco bell since it was the only thing around. We ate there everynight. Sick. So, Jim, Lisa & I went back to Jim's house in San Jose which wasn't a very long drive at all. We went right to bed. Me & lisa, the loving couple, just kidding. She's the perfect person to sleep with, doesn't kick, she says she snores, but I never heard her and she never steals the blankets! Hey, we're blanket friends. It was soooo nice to see Jim's mom, dad & dog again. It's been way too long. I love that dog! I wish he was my dog, seriously. Loved the way they redone their bathrooms. Wow! All this & waking up @ 5:30am in Seattle, not too bad. You all should be proud of me.



12/06 - DAY OFF in Seattle...



12/06- Day off*
The next morning we were all so super tired. We went out to eat breakfast, did laundry & packed for the rest of the tour. I don't know why it was so stressful for me to repack, but it was! I'm so mad that I never had time to write in my travel journal or my reg. journal (just one entry in my travel journal is not nearly enough). Half the stuff I brought I didn't use or wear. What a shame. And how heavy to carrying around. I took a nice looooggg shower while Lisa packed. Her apartment was beautiful! I didn't sleep good that night knowing I had to wake up @ 5:00am to get to the airport for Lisa's flight out @ 7am, even tho. my flight didn't leave until 10:20! Oh joy! I never sleep much when I know I have to wake up early. I've always been like that. So, it wasn't pretty. Not a morning person. I tried to get to bed early but just couldn't sleep. So I got 2 hours of sleep.

12/05 -SEATTLE~There by the Seaside, 5th of December




12/05-I spent the night @ that guy's house I met on the sidewalk. Okay that sounded really bad. Dai. You remember Dai, the tall guy w/ the camera behind the bushes! Just kidding. It worked out perfect. I'm so glad Joe came along at the last minute, it wouldn't have been the same w/out him there. We had loads of fun & Dai's rice & blackbeans were delicious, the pomegrante juice was the bomb! Next morning got up early, couldn't really sleep, so very tired. I had fun talking to the guys as we all got ready. He had coffee! Yum! We took the scenic route since the road was still closed. And I'm glad it was! What a beautiful ride, w/ good music, good vibes/energy and loved looking @ all the ranches & horses & trees. We stopped @ a mini mart along the way and I got a Dr. Pepper & my beloved Spree candy! I was so excited, their hard to find (the hard ones) & they had a big box! Funny thing is I'm lookin' at that box right now & sucking on them. Yes! They lasted me all trip and I still have them! We stopped again @ a rite aid & I got a throw away camera just for back up & that camera's been thru a lot! Lost in the backseat of Jim's car, I just got it sent to me in the mail today. Haha. At least he found it, I have no clue what's on it? Seattle piccys I know. I took a few of my fav. photos on this drive from Oregon to Seattle. It's a time I will always remember. I am to meet Lisa, my tour sidekick there and I was excited to see her. It's been way too long. So before I knew it we were there, I told the guys to let me out on the bridge. I tried to change my pants in the back seat, but had no time. So I jump out w/ my pants & go see what's up. There was Lisa w/ her boyfriend Josh & I couldn't be more happy. We hugged then she introduced me to Josh. I walk up more in hopes I would see some of the same people from the meetngreet from 4 years ago and there they were! Cat was there! After giving her a hug I turn around to this tall tall clown (no, literaly a clown) and he was standing there like 'heeeellllo I'm waiting for a hug'. I yell 'OMG'! It was Jerome! One of my fav. Tori peeps in the world that I travelled w/ during Scarlet's Walk! Omg was I happy to see him. He has disappeared and reappeared. He does this, this is his thing. But it was lovely & fun to spend the intire day w/ him. I met Chris, he's bliss. So thoughtful. He's funny as all hell. Thanks for taking photos of me & Tori since no one else seem to care. I will never forget out front of the venue when I said 'oh thanks Chris, I asked my friends to take pictures & they didn't' and you yelled 'well, fuck them!' Lol, I couldn't stop laughing & I still can't! I keep hearing your voice say that! Haha. You're the bomb. I owe you! xox. I met the beautiful Melissa who was filming the whole thing. Great idea. Wish I would have recorded more. (Another badly planned trip!) Melissa you are a sweetheart! So, after a good while Tori came out. I hardly ever see Tori come out, in all the years of me touring, I'm always talking to my friends. But I can always tell when she does because it gets all hush and you faintly hear all the 'ohhh's'. It's funny. She starts talkin' to Cat & then onto those 2 cunts that came late & just walked up front, as if nobody noticed. Then me, Tori lit up & said 'how have you been?' We talked for a bit & then I got to show her only a couple things from the gift bag I got her. I always feel like I'm being timed & raven doesn't like thhhhat! I know tori's not doing that, but I never want to take up a unfair amount of time. So, I am really bummed about how it turned out. She did write me something beautiful on this picture of her in the Cornwall hills, I put aside & saved for years. We did take a piccy too, but it came out, or I should say I came out awful in it. Too close for the flash. I know I'm white, but I ain't that white. Lol. It's crazy, happens everytime. The piccys I take w/ friends before & after turn out great, it's just that one shot w/ tori. Oh well. Sounds about right. So, really bummed I didn't get to explain the gifts to her & why I got them for her. That was important to me. I felt like I just handed her the bag. Pisses me off. Then Dor taps me on the shoulder & says 'this is how we're doing it this year' & tells me we move back after talking to tori. You know 'cause she works for tori & all [rolls eyes]. Are you serious, I haven't talked to tori in 4 years! And you talk to her everyday. My god, how much of her time do you possibly need? SAD! (I really don't mind her, just sometimes it's a little much).
Me & my posse (just kiddin') went walking around to find a place to eat dinner. We found a mall & we all got different things @ the foodcourt. I got me a taco that was yummmy! We were all sitting there eating in a good mood, but still bothered by how the meetngreet went. One of my friends made a comment that wasn't so cool and that wasn't so true in front of everybody that pissed me off, so there went the rest of my dinner. I got up, threw it out, grabbed my jacket & left. Everybody followed. We walked back to the venue. Chatted w/ peeps. Looking for a ticket. I ended up trading some weirdo old geezer that seemed all high anyways, 5 pills for a ticket. Haha. I could have gave him advil and the fucker wouldn't have even known. Haha. He was all happy & so was I. I walk in & damn' I love this venue. Oh I forgot to mention Joe gave me his front row ticket because he wanted to sit next to his friend. So, I go and get my seat. I gave up my front row & sat 2nd row so Matt Page, John & their other friend (that REALLY annoying one) could sit together w/out even getting a Thank you from any of them. Whatever. Never again. So, I liked my 2nd row seat. I was in a bad mood tho. because of the meetngreet, the comment @ dinner & not getting a thanks & a few other things I won't mention here. So, I said 'oh well, it is what it is'. I sat next to such a sweet girl, even tho. I sat there almost motionless, Awwe thanks Katie. Poor thing probably thought wtf? Haha. I got her number. People kept coming in and out of that seat? my friends & I knew that T. would do 'Seaside, being the 5th of december & being by the water. I had a feeling she'd be Pip, even tho. it was only my 2nd show I was pretty good @ picking z dolls! So-Pip we got and Seaside we got. :o) So, I didn't know & still don't know which dolls do which songs, some of course, but not all. Not into reading all the silly blogs she wrote, who has the time anyways. So, It was all a surprise to me of what songs will come. So 'Cruel' is one of my fav. songs, LOVE the way Tori, excuse me, Pip does this song! Whoa fuck! 'Heart of Gold' another fav. 'Fat slut' I was wondering about how she'd do this song! Ha! It was awesome! - rather would have 'Dragon' instead of 'Smokey Joe', but it was nice to see Tori's exspressions during this song. Loved 'Teenage hustling' 'you been scanking around w/ your talentless trash' and 'save me save me, save me save me save me' favourite parts! 'Sugar' & 'Rattlesnakes' always great to hear. Oh man it was amazing to have 'Putting the damage on', 'Liquid Diamonds', 'Seaside' and 'Smells like teen spirit' back to back. Those are some of my favourite girls. 'Digital ghost' & 'Virgina' were lovely. Oh, I think one of my fav. times ever was when she played The Monkees 'I'm a believer'. I love The Monkees! I have all their Dvd's & a lunch box. Lol. When tori broke out w/ this I was beyond fucking giddy. I was right up against the stage & I felt so free of worrying about taking piccys or anything else. I was rocking out, Davy Jones style, playing a mean air tambourine! Tori musta loved 'my best impression' of Davy Jones, 'cause she looked over @ me & had cracked out laughing! She kept looking over @ me as I was singing along. She scanned the room & everybody was on their feet, clapping & rocking out, dancing. She loved the energy & I must say out of all these years I've never seen Tori laugh & smile so big! It was beyond words. This memory is bitter sweet for me tho. because I had my camera on stage & was recording the song
which came out really great and was from a good angle. Got everything so upclose. Then later on a few days later I realised I had accidently deleted it, 2 reasons: being sleep deprived & not knowing everything about my new camera yet! Fuck was I/am pissed! But all in all this concert was my 2nd fav. out of the 10 shows I saw. At least she had energy these 2 shows. Tori must hate the West Coast. Besides these 2 shows & Anaheim we got 'so-so' shows, low energy & almost the same setlists. The West Coast got only 1 bootleg. What the hell is that about? Oh well, I have all the 'officail' boots (thanks to Mark) every single one of them. The missing West Coast shows are on their way to my hot little hands.
After the show I left w/ Lisa and Josh to their car, running into Jerome on the way, I had to sadly give back the bomb jacket he let me where all day. Bye Jerome, I'll miss you! And I'll miss that jacket, but Lisa's boyfriend Josh was a gentleman & let me wear his! Bravo darling! So we drive back to Lisa's house where I meet her sweet roommate Scott & her kitty Hazel (but I like to call her a cloud w/ eyes) we had bagels and tea, talked & went to bed.


12/04 -OREGON~Few witches burning gets a little toasty




12/04-
The 2 friends that live in Portland were sick. Didn't turn out like I thought it would. But whatever, I should be use to it. The roads were closed because of flooding so my tour sidekick was stuck in Seattle. Too bad she couldn't meet up w/ me. We kept calling each other & I felt bad she was stuck over in Seattle. Here I was wondering how I was getting up to Seattle the next morning & I had a flight to catch out to Oakland on the 7th as well. Sometimes things just don't work out as you planned them, but everything worked itself out in the end & ended up being better actually. I had planned to fly into Seattle first then drive down to Oregon w/ my friend, I'm soooo glad I decided to fly into Oregon because it was my fav. show, one of my fav. venues and I met a wonderful new friend that day, Dai. :o) Not to mention how happy I was to run into Ursula there and then Joe, they are like the funnest peeps to be around. I was very happy. So back to that Morning:
The next day I get up my friend was supossed to take me to the venue on her lunch break, my first day on tori tour and it's gone weird. She calls me from work says she has a lot of paper work and she can't take me, so she got me a cab to the venue! I was like 'ok', but you know what, that turned out to be one of my fav. memories of the trip, the cab guy I had was just awesome, he was so sweet and funny, we laughed & talked the whole intire way. I told him what I was doing, he knew of Tori and we started talking about jazz music & old classic rocknroll. He told me of when he saw The Doors and we talked on & on like we been friends forever! It was great! I was worried of where I'd put my suitcases during the meetngreet. He was very helpful and he stopped @ a greyhound station to see if I could keep them in one of their lockers, I go in there right and their working on them! I couldn't believe it! I come back out & we drive to the venue, he drops me off right in front. Unloads my suitcases and he says 'take a picture of me infront of the Tori posters' so cute! So we're all laughing & having fun! We hugged and said our goodbyes. I actually was sad when I watched him drive away. You sometimes meet wonderful people during stressful times that make you feel at home or settle you down. He was one of those. I even remember his name, 'Scott'. Thank you. You did more than you know buddy.
So, I take my first photos of the venue marquee. Then got my gorgeous matching luggage (haha) and took it around the corner. There were only 3 people out there. As I walk up this old distinctive englishman comes out of his office and walks up to me and says in his beautiful english accent 'are you the young lady requiring about a meet & greet'?. Haha wtf? How did he know! He brought me into his office & was all talking to me, all the while I'm thinkin' what is this? It was nice though. The 3 standing outside told me that they thought that I was part of tori's crew by the way I was dressed & my fancy LL Bean luggage. Haha. So I introduced myself to the lovely Allison, Mark & the other guy, sorry I forgot your name! We talked a bit until I turned around and saw a familiar face & that familiar face I liked. It was Ursula! Yay! She introduced me to Amanda, a girl she met that morning. I ended up leaving my bags in ursula's car. What a relief! We all decided before I went to drop off my bags, all 6 of us would walk up to the radio station Tori was supossed to be at? But Ursula couldn't find the garage her car was in at first (they all look the same). So we walked around & finally found it, then on our way to the radio station that's where I met Dai. He was standing all tall w/ a pretty good camera lens behind a bush, lurking. Ok, just kidding, but he is tall and that camera was awesome! He was smart to be standing up on the hill a few yards from where they were unloading Tori's piano & stuff, trying to get some shots. I asked him in a kidding-kinda-way 'are you stalking Tooooorrii'. He looked a bit nervous for a second. Haha. Then said 'I'm just getting some shots, they already brought out her piano'. Somehow we got on the subject of 'are you going to the Seattle show', 'are you driving' like right away. He said 'yeah I am'. I jumped up to where he was & shook his hand and said 'Hi, your my new best friend' and we all laughed. I got his number & he got mine. With a goodbye we left to the radio station, stopping at a Vons to get something to eat. I got my beloved little fig newtons, which was funny because all I went thru they ended up going w/ me the intire trip (you can see them in pictures in Arizona, haha). We get there finally, hiking up hills & shit & Allison came up to me & said she left me a note w/ directions & taped it on the wall back at the venue. How sweet. We didn't go that way tho. We all waited there w/ 2 other peeps, we talked and waited some more, then I thought I'd better call Dai to see what's up on his end. He says he thinks the radio show was pre-recorded, and I think he said he saw her go in already? So I start walking & tell the others 'come on, he thinks it was pre-recorded' with a choir of 'ahhh's' we were on our way back. I waved & said 'hi' to Dai that was still standing there in the same spot! LOL. I called him over. I took a few piccys of Jon & Matt meeting each other w/ coffee. Remember I haven't seen these guys for 4 yrs. And get this LOL, this guy walks by w/ a cute bum & fohawk and I LOVE fohawks! So I was just watching him and/or his bum walk about, when he came near me I asked him to take a photo w/ me (I thought he was just some cute random local college guy & I'd never seem him again) and no one else seemed to know him either. I'm all 'who's that'? After he walked away. Then later that night, I see him on stage w/ Tori! Oooohhh shit haha. It's Tori's new guitarist Dan Phelps. I was all laughing to myself when I saw him. You see I been working so much that sadly I haven't had a lot of time to watch any tori related video, everything was new and fresh to me. How funny. Anyhow, jump back to where we were. So after a while Smitty (who I also met for the first time ever that day) came out & told us there would be no meetngreet. I didn't see why not, but whatever. I wanted to unload these gifts to tori so I wouldn't have to carry them around. I most certainly didn't want to take them on the plane w/ me again to Oakland, so Seattle was my only bet. It was funny, I didn't frett, like I knew that I would, seeing as every tour I gave her all her gifts in Seattle, even tho I Live in LA. Just always seems to be my perfect spot. Magical spot. Hemm...( Oh and to that ugly anorexic curly poodle haired bitch that asked my friend why I take 'so many pictures' (note: took 3 shots) wtf does it matter to your stupid dumb nosey ass, like why the fuck are you breathing? Who the fuck are you anyway? Please bitch. I'm a photographer, that's what I do. Get a life. Stop standing there with that stick up your ass, you delusional twat). So I really can't tell you what happened after smitty telling us that, because I don't remember. All I remember is Jim, Heather, Brigett and Casey finally showing up after taking the 'long way' from Seattle 'cause of the road closure. I remember us all going into a fancy resturant to go pee. After that it's all a blur. I don't even think I ate dinner that night, thank all the gods I had fig newtons in my purse! Oh fuck wait-how can I forget. I think that's when I saw and hugged hello to my fav. person ever (so far) to sit with during a concert! JOE! Hurrah! I think me, Ursula and joe walked to some mall to a food court to eat. My food was so sick, I only ate a little. Then ONE of my FAV. memories on tour, joe showed us this little stand where this girl made duct tape wallets, I had to buy the cute one w/ the porcupine & mushrooms on it. I even named my wallet 'the ursulajoe wallet'. I kid you not. I love my friends that much. ;o) We walked back, I saw some peeps I knew in the VIP. I waited outside, still needing a tix, smitty told me to look for him out infront @ 7:00. Ok. Earlier that day I introduced myself to him for the first time. I told him I was an OG (you know meaning old-school, as in I've been here forever) I think he confused OG for a 'Regular' (I've always hated that title-I guess people use it so you know who you're talking about) but honey there's a big difference between a regular & an OG. I'm not Obsessed. Ok-maybe I was back in '96, but that shit was world-changing. Anywho, I got a corner front row, but the place was so damn' small & tori kept lookin' at me, so I was happy w/ my seat. Not going to complain or be greedy. Plus I got some of my best piccys that night! And guess what? Izzy was my favourite doll and she came out and I was thrilled. Tori did my Beulah Land and that's all that fucking matters! Every tour before I asked for my precious Graveyard/Beulah Land combo and she has done them together from there on most the time. Funny/cute/ironic thing is that I didn't ask this time. She just knew I was there because someone told her I said 'Hi' & when I saw the setlist after the show with Graveyard/Beulah Land together I just smiled quietly while the sea of people all around me seemed to be now moving in slow motion and then slowly fade away. It was just me and my funny-lip-shape standing there. Even tho I didn't get Graveyard I got the other. Thank you tori, (but really Graveyard is only 3 mins. long!!!) ;o)
Let's not skip the show! Oregon was my favourite show out of the 10 shows I seen. Maybe it had something to do w/ it being my first show & that I just simply walked in & sat alone, not looking for any friends. Some concerts are better alone. I mean I knew they were there, but you know. I had a good seat and Isabel (my fav.) Doll came out smoking in this awesome, beautiful dress and boots. Hot! I lucked out! What
were my chances of getting Izzy, front row and beulah land all in one day and it being my first show back? Like I said it was my fav. show, this and Seattle. It was nice feeling the base & drums pulse through me again. It's been way too long. When Tori came out I thought that was the prettiest dress I've ever seen & I wanted it, haha. My opinion stays the same by the end of the tour. The set list was nice. Of course 'Yo George' being one of my fav. I loved seeing tori do it. 'Theme from the Exorcist' is always nice. I liked 'Almost Rosey' from the first time I heard it on the album, but there were some parts of the song I didn't like. After seeing tori do it live, I love this song! 'Mountain' has always been one of my fav. Fucking love this song, as well as 'Tombigbee' and 'Scarlet's Walk'...with my favourite line 'you just lift your lamp, I will follow' and I've always imagined tori holding one up on that part AND SHE DID! One of my fav. props tori! Way to go! 'Professional Widow' was so much fucking fun, great idea tori! Saw 'Big Wheel' for the first time w/ all it's little dance moves, haha. And the jumpsuit I thought was cool for about 5 minutes! 'Tear in your hand', I always call an 'oldie but a goodie'. And it is. It was good to hear 'Spring Haze' again. Then my beloved 'Beulah Land' came out to tell me she missed me. I missed you too Beulah babe. Where have you been off to? 'Carbon' is always nice to hear. Usually I don't really care for '1000 Oceans', BUT, my Grandpa died a week 1/2 before tour & I was still healing & this song helped me out. If I remember right I might have cried a little. 'Hotel' that hot bitch helped me to wake up and snap out of it! She's such a demanding little thing! And sometimes she's a boy & sometimes she's a girl! And then here comes 'Code Red' running down as fast as it can, to go in and around, through us again, fill the room. It is amazing to me how just 4 instruments make this sound, or rather how she plays thru the instruments, banging the drums, vibrating the base, twists around the guitars strings, off tori's tiny finger tips and vocal chourds and finally puncturing our ears. Amazing, she IS alive. This was & always will be my #1 fav. song off this album. I could have wrote that song. There's so much of me in that song. 'Bouncing off clouds' was my other fav. song off the album. There are my 3 fav. she already played (Yo George, Code Red & BOC). So I was happy. 'Hey Jupiter' has always been one of my fav. and I love to hear, but not a trillion times, you know? And I have to say besides Beulah Land, Yo George, Mountain, Code Red and the cute little improv about 'if you really wanna get there' (due to the road closures & record rainfall) that 'I'm on fire' was the real treat. She played it before Beulah Land so it was extra sweet. Great show Tori! Wish the rest of the shows made me feel like this. So after hanging around w/ friends for awhile I went to the downstairs bathroom and I kept getting crazy texts and phone calls, they kept getting dropped 'cause where I was (this strange underground) So thank you for being patient Dai and calling me over & over again, to see if I still needed that ride to Seattle. Now that's a decent person (hard to find these days). And the other calls were from my dear friend Peter! Now get this we have been friends for like 8 years, we met online at I think it was @forumz, you know when it use to be good. Well, here I lived in Los Feliz & he lived in West Hollywood & all these years we never met! He just so happened to be in town that night and he had time to catch most the show. He was calling me to meet him, he was standing outside, so I'm so excited & like running out and here we meet for the very first time! And of all places in Oregon at a Tori show, my fav. Tori show, so it was even more beautiful, even more Kewl :o)
He wanted me to meet his mom who was waiting in the car, and I was headed over there, but had friends calling me from every direction. Dai, Jim, Ursula and I had to get my bags out of Ursula car & my fig newtons out of Jim & heather's car to move into Dai's car, so I couldn't & I felt so bad. I hope he understands. I love that peter, he's a sweet lad. So off he went & off we go to get that brilliant looking luggage into Dai's car. So we all go. Oh I'm forgetting a huge part here, so Dai informs me that not only do I have a ride to seattle, but a place to sleep! Oh. Breathe out & relax. So, up to jim's car & back down to meet Ursula and joe asks dai if he can stay too (even tho they never met, that's how it works on tour and I love it-you make new friends this way). So it's just us 3 walking the bags to his car. We were like the last 3 people around! Dai's apartment was awesome, he has great taste in music & he's a great host. I was tired of eating crap food, so he made me some rice & Trader Joe's black beans! Ha! I even took a piccy of the rice & beans, yeah they were that good! haha. Good times! We all had fun talking. Our personalities are the same, so that's why it all clicked into place. This will go down as one of my fav. tour memories! I hold it dear. These 2 guys are awesome!




Monday, February 11, 2008

*ADP Tour Experience December 2007* 12-03 to 12-17 4am

this sums it up on how I feel about tour anymore:
AND THAT Signature thing that use to bring a following...
I have trouble now even remembering...and it's only growing harrowing.










*ADP Tour Experience December 2007* 12-03 to 12-17 4am

I planned on having my blog & photos up a few days back from tour or at least before the end of the year, but some asshole got me sick and I was laid out for 16 days. I go to great lengths to make sure I don't get sick. I think it's the rudest thing you can do to a person, get them sick and not apologize for wasting their time & being the reason for you being non-productive. I wanted to have a clear mind while writing my reveiw, but my head was clouded. Then in Jan. I got sick again with a really bad flu that lasted forever. After that I had to get all the tour photos up which took forever and a day. *Warning: This blog is very long, (remember, it's a 2 week trip) so take a nap before reading & go get yourself a sandwitch* not kidding.*



I wanted to write my blog/review with a fresh mind so I wouldn't forget anything. That's why I was writing it on my blackberry as I went along, but I regretfully gave up during the 2nd concert I attended (Seattle) because things were just so disasterious that I lost the drive to continue to write. Shame shame shame. To sum it all up, My 10 show tour experience was just alright, my least fav. of all my tori tours. I'm shocked to say the least! Now I can kick my own ass for not writing on my blackberry because I know there are things that I simply won't remember therefore l will leave out. Damn'. I went on a mini roadtrip/tour this time around. 10 shows, 8 different cities. Starting in Portland Oregon and Seattle Washington and I'm so glad I did these. I always have a good time in these 2 states and they have always brought me luck. Mid-tour were the 3 Oakland shows where things got kinda gross, moving on to Phoenix Arizona, San Diego, lovely Santa Barbara, ending in the 2 LA shows Anaheim and LA where things got really gross and by then I had already made up my mind...well, I actually did that in Oakland. "Do this last one and I'll grow me some wine". I can write just an overall review of the shows and what have you, but that's no fun is it? I'm into detail, sharing experieneces whether good or bad. I've been known for being brutally honest, but that's the way I roll. I also know that this will probably most likely be way too long. I'll try hard not to get too personal, I can do that and regret it later. I also tend to rammble, I'll catch myself before I do so.

First off I planned on doing this roadtrip by myself, driving, hotels. But some things came up that prevented me from doing so. I mean not totally alone, I had a travel buddy and did want to spend time @ friends homes again and meet up at resturants & stuff-but I like sleeping, eating, taking showers when I want, not when someone else thinks I should. But some of the car drives w/ friends were the best times I had. I loved them! some of the best memories are made w/ friends. And some you have to go in it alone. And that's fine by me. I was excited to spend time w/ old dear friends, it was nice to rekindle some old friendships, make new friends and lost/dumped a few on the way. Guess on days like this you know who your true friends are...


ON MY WAY TO OREGON (my first show of the tour)
12/03-So I left my house and city to get a plane from the Bob Hope airport. I actually like flying it's the airport that I hate & dread! These people waste my time always! Nothing ever goes smooth. I was on the silver bird, on my way to Portland to see a friend I haven't seen for 4 years! Schlyce, glitterkitty. I've missed her. I was so hungry, I would have had time to eat if these assholes at the airport didn't make me unpack & repack 4 different times! Schlyce's text message reasured me that we're grub when I get there. Good. The good news is that it was raining, I hate the sun, so this was a good thing! The guy on the plane sitting next to me was cool. I made sure no one annoying or that 2 people sat near me. Every time someone asked me if the seats were taken, I told them no, but I go to the bathroom a lot just so they wouldn't sit by me and it works everytime. My friend picked me up at the airport and we ate @ a resturant on the river called McMenamins. The food was so good! We then drove back to her house where I met her 2 kitties. She put on her different belly dancing outfits and I shot some piccys while she danced. I was finishing up Tori's letter and putting the gifts together, which was probably a waste of both my time and money. Needless to say I didn't get much sleep because somebody gave their cats catnip before I went to bed & cats were jumping. & springing off my face, stomach & just everywhere. I know it sounds funny, but it wasn't at the time. LOL.