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Friday, June 13, 2008

Watching this last MTV movie awards, I SEE that they put ANYBODY on these days. It's CRAP!!!

I was there with my Dad on the phone the day MTV went on the air, we were both awaiting the first video to be shown on MTV. (yes, I'm that old). IF I remember correctly it was "Video Killed the Radio Star" and Michael Jackson, Cindi Lauper ... and so on...

MTV has been sucking for years now... WE ALL KNOW THIS...
They should change the name from 'MTV' to the 'America's next top model' channel.
For REAL tho.

A couple of weeks ago, MTV celebrated its 25th birthday. Back when it started, MTV was hip — it was the voice, the vessel of expression for what would be dubbed the “MTV Generation.” Now, there seems to be a consensus among old-time viewers and anyone who’s intelligent — MTV sucks. This list, presented in no real order, seeks to explain why.

This is just a sample of some:

7. My Super Sweet Sixteen
I caught about 10 minutes of this show one day, and, before it was over, I wanted to rip out my own intestines and strangle myself to death with the bloody, pus-oozing tubes. Here’s the basic idea of the show: A super rich girl plans for a huge party on her sixteenth birthday and her filthy rich daddy makes it all happen, or she cries if he doesn’t. Ugh.

6. MTV2
Ah, a station that actually plays music videos! Better yet, download them for free off of the internet — who needs television anymore?

5. Beavis and Butthead
Where’d it go? Who cares if there’s only like 5 minutes of actual show/plot, those delinquents were quality entertainment. I AM CORNHOLIO! I NEED T.P. FOR MY BUNGHOLE!

4. Music videos
They don’t play them. As the old-timers like to point out, they use to play videos ’round the clock, minus the news break with Kurt Loder.

3. Celebrity Deathmatch
About as funny as seeing your grandmother’s hemmorrhoids for the first time.

2. Rap
There’s nothing wrong with rap — tons of people like it and it should be played, but damn, we need some variety. How often do you see rock or alt rock or metal or punk or anything being played on MTV?

1. TRL
This, along with the rise of Spears, Aguilera, Backstreet and N-Sync probably ruined MTV for good. First of all, the show plays about 1 and 1/2 minutes of each video (which is fine I guess, since most of them are terrible). More importantly, this is the symbolic turning point — the point where MTV became ultra-whores to teeny-bopper audiences and lost sight of the importance of the music itself.

Millions of teenagers all across Ameica watch MTV. In doing this, they have also depleted whatever reason and logic there is in the world.

MTV as everybody knows stands for "Music Television". Yet if you go to it you will see it is more like MACBSTV (Modern American Culture and Bullshit Television.) Why am I so striking on what used to be my favorite music channel?

Because if you watch MTV long enough you see it is not about music at all. It is all just another channel devoted to yuppiedom, sleaze, bad music and the American way.

MTV was created in the early 1980's because somebody discovered bands who had music videos to promote the sales of their albums sold at least 40% more records than bands without one. This piece of information sparked interest to make a channel devoted to and for music video and music news.

But like communism, this utopian idea attracted some bad vibes. Soon, MTV "creations" like Duran Duran were selling millions of records on MTV status alone. Pop-Metal (a la Warrant, Bon Jovi) began to dominate MTV as all videos then appeared to look the same, eithe they had dancers, blow-died guitarists with rollercoaster solos, o just dances and lights and ounds, occasionally with very unusual themes. MTV started to promote things that had nothing to do at all with music, with shows like "House Of Style." It even started it's own "movie Awards" showcase.

Hopefully, with the grunge and underground revolution of 1991, MTV slightly shifted it's focus to the more musical perspective, to the beliefs and perspectives of the people of the music scene (as they always did.) Artists then like Nirvana had an iconolastic, "FUCK MTV BECAUSE OF ITS CORPORATISM" attitude that inspired a musical and media revolution. While there were even more great relations with the musical/artistic values of the videos, there was still "House Of Style" and their own award shows, but they were strictly now MTV "traditions" that had to be shown. To show how equal, generous and balanced MTV was in the days of yore, they had different shows covering different styles of music. "MTV Jams" covered the rap/r&b circut, while on Saturdays at midnight MTV showed it's metalfest "Headbanger's Ball" program. Extra shows like "Beavis and Butthead" and the great "Liquid Television" offered viewers more variety and programmers more experimentalism. Slowly, more shows like "Lip Service" were being made. Shortly before this MTV made it's long heralded program, "The Real World". Change was on the horizon, but it was never imminent.

Then, it all changed.

It is said that "those who don't acknowledge the past are doomed to repeat it." Shortly after the death of Nirvana's Kurt Cobain, MTV dropped it's iconolastic, indivdual qualities so excersised by the music scene then, and like it always has done, gave in to what is popular at the moment. They eliminated "Headbanger's Ball", "Beavis and Butthead" and other shows that defined the era, and even quit showing videos from bands that were not either rap, r&b, dance, or alternative.

It was around this time that it all rotted down. MTV invented the show "Singled Out", as well as an entirley new facelift that heightened all the worst values of the generation it is programmed to. How else can you explain the show, "My Life As a Porn Star"?? Or "Road Rules"?? What the hell is "Undressed" but a slinky sleazy perverted show that feeds the raging hormones of prubescent teens? MTV perfected it's patented, "PLAY IT TO DEATH" video formula, thus starting and ending the careers of bands like Eve 6, Marvelous 3, Third Eye Blind, dance groups Britney Spears, NSYNC (whom their record company paid an unclosed sum of money to play their smash hit "Tearin' Up My Heart" over and over again until it fabricatedly became the biggest shown video ever), Backstreet Boys, as well as shocker Marylin Manson (ending his career), and beginning the dawn of a new age in ultra-corporate rap where 3 weeks is the ultimate lifespan for any artist (a la DMX, Master P, Scarface, 2Pac, Keith Sweat, J-Rule.) They now have shows were you have to "guess" what objects are in a music video and other idiodicies like that.


Because so many teenagers watch MTV on a daily basis, they let IT chose the music for themselves. And what do they play now on MTV??


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